Monday, December 26, 2011

Realities of the Junk Biz Lifestyle VS Reality TV - Part One...of many to come)



Ah, you are back! GOOD. At least you want to learn!

(Oh, warning, no pictures exist in this posting.) 


Just the facts, period.

The thing is, when you are in the "junk biz" "stuff happens," just as it does to anyone else.....and sometimes  "stuff happens" even more-so.

Times can be tough. 

An expected/unexpected bill can pop up. 

You could get so overworked/tired/stressed that you need a vacation or you will loose your mind and/or your family.

You may need to take an urgent trip via airline, and not be able to pick up a "cheap flight" and have to pay the airlines top-end rates.

You need to take some other emergency trip, maybe rescue of friend from a bad relationship, or just "be there" for someone.

You may wish to take time off just to be with a friend/relative in the last months/days/hours of their lives. 


You suddenly may have health issues of your own arise, or need to assist a  family member or friend in health related issue.

You may trip on a half-buried wire while in a scrap yard, resulting in a face-meets-chrome impact, and leave some extra patina and scuffs on that Dodge DeSoto bumper you were after...but at least you know roughly where to look for the other halves of your front teeth....seeing as you did hear 2 "pings" as they ricocheted off the grill.


Of course, I could keep going on and on and on. However, those of you who have been on that long road of life for more than, say, a quarter century, without the family safety net constantly hovering underneath their tightrope....well, you all don't need reminders of the past.  

I do want to make those who are new to the junk biz well aware of the realities of the junk biz lifestyle.  

ATTENTION ALL of you who fall under these categories,

  - Reality-TV-Is-Real-Life-True-Believers
  - newbie-but-I-AM-A-PROFESSIONAL-Storage-Locker-Buyers
  - Wannabe-Pickers
  - among other hoards of those people, falling under multiple known (and currently unknown) categories of those who are  bushy-tailed-bright-eyed-earnestly-peering-through-their-rose-colored-glasses with that 100 yard I-am-going-to-be-rich-buying-and-selling-other-people's-junk sort of dazed stare

 PLEASE CLOSELY read the next 6 points:


(1) EASY MONEY DOES NOT EXIST IN THE JUNK BIZ....nor anywhere else.


(2) YOU CAN NOT KEEP ALL/MOST/MUCH OF THE GOOD/COOL/VALUABLE/NEAT/INTERESTING/WEIRD/USEFUL/BIZARRE STUFF AND EXPECT TO MAKE A LIVING.... unless your business plan includes being a paid regular on Hoarding: Buried Alive and other similar shows..


(3) IF YOU ARE A COLLECTOR WHO AGONIZES OVER SELLING OR GETTING RID OF THINGS DO NOT GET INTO THE JUNK BUSINESS....at least until you have seen a shrink, the therapy is complete and worked, allowing you to finally no longer hate your mother for giving away your Optimus Prime Transformer to the neighbor kids after you FINALLY moved out of your  parent's home... for the first time, anyway.


(4) IF YOU TRULY BELIEVE YOU WILL IMMEDIATELY MAKE ENOUGH MONEY TO SUPPORT YOURSELF (LET ALONE YOUR FAMILY, TOO) YOU ARE DREAMING...AND PURSUIT OF THE DREAM WILL MEAN A NIGHTMARE IS SURE TO BE NEXT...it is better to "keep dreaming" rather than live a nightmare and have a stress induced heart attack....and never dream again.

(5) IF YOU ARE A MAJOR GERMAPHOBE, BE SURE TO ADD THE COSTS OF EXTENSIVE THERAPY INTO YOUR "EXPENSES" SECTION OF YOUR ACCOUNTING RECORDS....and do let me know...as I want to buy as much stock in  glove and hand sanitizer makers....that way I can retire within a year.



(6) IF YOU THINK YOU KNOW IT ALL, YOU DON'T....but, if you still insist you know it all, let me know when and where you set up to sell your wares. I love to buy things from people who are such experts. It gives me such confidence! I am constantly awestruck while in their presence....especially when I think of the huge profits I will make from the items I buy from them. I also thoroughly enjoy the stories they tell, as historical fiction is a favorite of mine.



- THE END - 









(7) DO YOU FIND THAT ANY OF THE FOLLOWING DESCRIBES YOU (OR YOUR BUSINESS PARTNER)?
- CAN NOT LOOK, NOR THINK BEYOND WHAT SOMEONE SAYS IS "THE END" (if you are reading this, congratulations!)
- DO NOT LIKE THE UNEXPECTED
- CAN NOT THINK WAY OUTSIDE THE BOX 
- CAN NOT IMPROVISE
- PANIC EASILY
- FALL APART UNDER ANY STRESS
- HAVE LITTLE/NO PATIENCE
- GET BORED EASILY

If so, you are far better off to stay on your couch, and keep watching Reality TV.....

You see, (and do realize that I do say this with utmost sincerity,) your favorite "Junk TV" shows are as close to  real as you truly ever wish to experience....I'll bet your sanity on it.






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