Another Update in the New Chapter of Life

So, much has gotten done since the last post. Not as much as I would like, mind you. The whole reno process is slow, with some of the tradespeople doing work, then coming back a week later to complete it. That has been frustrating, especially when one set of tradespeople need the work of another set of tradespeople to be done so they can continue their work....the days and weeks in between have been adding up fast.   

The carpenters have been moving the fastest, though with hunting season upon us, they had to take a week off to go hunting. Oh well, they have gotten the most done, really, and have earned their money.

You can keep abreast of the weekly changes by subscribing and watching the videos here. 

Things are slow as far as the shop storefront is going, as I can't do much until the floors are washed, and without running water I can't get that done. The electricians just got the power going to the pump, and now the pump doesn't seem to be pumping water...so, I still can't call the floor cleaner to come and do the front part of the shop floor.

I had hoped I'd at least be living in the living quarters by now, but these delays are not helping the situation.

Trying to have patience, but my anxiety has been rising with the delays, and watching the money go out far faster than it is coming in. I am not bring in to much as far as income goes, because most of my inventory is packed....and I can't unpack much inventory until the shop gets set up.

 Stuck between a rock and a hard place. But that is where I have to operate for now. Anyways, as I mentioned before, to keep up and current, just catch the videos as they are posted.

Happy pickin'!

A Fall Post

So, been a busy summer, but not much to blog about....well, actually, there has been lots going on. 

The biggest news is that the property has been sold, and I am no longer the owner of it as of September 30th. 

So, where am I now?

The new property is at 230 Cameron St (AKA North Railway St) in Oak Lake, MB. It is just 5 minutes east down the highway of where I was.  

The building is about 3500 square feet, and I am putting in a living quarters at the back of the building, taking up about 1/5th or so of the building. It is a tiny space, but it will do. As a result of my living quarters being so small, my display space is limited...as a result, I have to divest myself of some of my personal collections. So, that will mean some cool items being put into inventory in the shop!

I also had to let go/abandon approx. $200,000 retail worth of inventory at the property. That consisted all of the outdoor inventory, and a fair bit of what was in the basement; internet inventory, "future" stuff, lamp parts, a pinball machine, a 1890s counter top, a 1960s bar that had soda fountain stools on it (which I had planned to use as my kitchen eating area), among other things that I hated to let go, but really had no choice. The time frame for moving the entire 12 years worth of accumulation was 6 weeks, so I simply did not have the time. I technically didn't have 6 weeks to move stuff, as I had to pack, and find a place to re-establish.  I was lucky to acquire the building I did, despite the amount of reno I have to do to get it up to usable condition. 

If you wish to follow/see the progress from "start" to "now", check out the YouTube videos on my channel, under the heading "New Chapter In Life". You will want to start at Update 1, and go from there.  To keep abreast of new videos, click on the SUBSCRIBE button under teh bottom right corner of the videos.

The videos should update you on what has gone on over the past 7 weeks.....or longer, depending on when you are reading this.

Happy picking!

American Pickers Coming To Canada? Unlikely...

These days Canadian Pickers is existing only in re-runs.

So, the way should be clear for American Pickers to come to Canada, right?

Well, it hasn't happened (for reasons unknown), and now is less likely to happen.

Frank got busted.

 Yep, a DUI....was intoxicated on booze and Xanax, apparently.

So, now he has a criminal record, and thus will be ineligible to come into Canada....

If a Picker Quit Pickin', What Would a Picker Do?

What to do.

That is a question that has been on my mind lately. 

Why?

Well, if I couldn't be in this business for some reason or other, what would I do?

How would I make a living?

I would definitely scale down my expenses, which I strive to do as it is. I have higher expenses simply because I am limited as to my selection on places to live, because I need to set up my business somewhere appropriate, somewhere with lots of traffic.

Setting up in some little town in the middle of no-where is not really conducive to long term success, in general.

After the property I am on now is sold, my next location will be visible from #1 highway, pure and simple. The Trans Canada is "the" highway, especially when it comes to the prairie provinces. Traffic going anywhere is likely going to be travelling down the #1.

Thousands of vehicles travel that route daily. It is the busiest thoroughfare in the prairie provinces.

So, establishing a store on #1 is the goal.

But, back to the question, if I couldn't be in this business, what would I do?

I have things I'd like to do.....but what would I do, in the way of making a living?

The scary thing is, I really don't know.

Could I make a living doing the other things I'd like to do?

Perhaps.

I am a writer, so if I had a writing gig of some sort that would actually pay real money, then that is a possibility.

I do have some ideas for screenplays, IE: cable-type shows.

Anyone know of a producer looking for some truly fresh ideas?

What is a picker to do?

TEST - What Kind Of Picker Are You?

You are in luck...no test today!    

I have found that SO many people have entirely different opinions as to what makes someone a "picker" that I simply can not create a test of any kind that will not end up taking hours of your time. 

I will still continue to express some opinions throughout this blog as to what makes a picker.  Sometimes I may ask you some questions that you can answer for me..so leave a comment, opinion, thought, etc,  make yourself heard! 

I have always considered myself a true picker. At first when people were calling me a "picker" rather than a "antiques dealer" I wasn't all that thrilled...somehow, at the time, "picker" seemed to me to be demeaning . It took a little while, but I started to realize that the dealers who were calling me a "picker" were complimenting me, rather than being negative. I was good at picking...that is what I wanted to do, anyway, not be a "dealer" sitting in a shop.

That came later. I became an "antiques dealer with a store" out of necessity, due to geographic location and the market I had access to.

I did come up with lots of fresh stuff.  I wanted to move it, but didn't want to get ripped-off on the stuff, either, though. A couple dealers made that mistake...assuming that I wouldn't figure out they were offering me far less than wholesale. In their arrogance/ignorance they perhaps figured their "knowledge" was worth far more than my sweat, fuel, time, energy, interpersonal skills, research skills, etc.

My knowledge base built quickly with experience. I learn fast....or so I like to believe!

So, what makes a picker, in my eyes?

Well....that is a loaded question. Whatever I answer I know there will be all sorts of differences in opinion.  Besides, you need to address some other issues...mainly the fact that there is several KINDS of pickers.

Myself I have adopted the moniker of a "Hardcore Picker". 
I define that as a person who makes his money in the "junk biz", mainly in the vintage end of things, but does what is necessary in the junk biz as a whole to make a living. If I need to haul scrap metal to help pay some bills, I do it. If I need to "re-purpose" items, re-market items, wholesale, hold some auctions, retail, do flea markets, etc, etc, etc to make some cash, I will. But, my main focus is vintage. I have an affinity for "junk", but vintage items have the firmest grip on my being.

So, what other kinds of pickers do I feel exist out there? 

You'll just have to wait for next post to find out!

A Down & Dirty Picker Pictorial

Ok, unlike my usual posts, this one is going to be long......

Um, ok, yes, I know some......well, ok, ok, ok...I stand corrected......MANY of my posts ARE long...but this one isn't going to be long in a wordy sort of way....

This one is full of photos....action shots, if you will.

I tend to get pretty dirty, cobweb covered, dust coated, etc, etc in many places I pick, and I do search through quite a few "sketchy" places, as far as their overall condition goes.......Yep, I tend to get Down 'n' Dirty.....

And here we go!

This barn looks relatively safe and intact, right?

  

Ok, maybe not!

  This wall waved back and forth when a breeze started....

  Yes, I walked around on this...that is the LOFT, by the way...it is a good story and a half up. I do not recommend you do something similar, tho! I do have over 20 years of this sort of thing under my belt!

 

To say that the structure of this place was not the best was an understatement.....beams were cracked and breaking, etc. All the time I was working here I kept my ears wide open for creaking, cracking, etc!

I have an affinity for old cellars...Why? Curiosity! That is where I always think the GOOD STUFF IS.....! I admit, that is not always the case, but I like to check everything out thoroughly. 

Unfortunately, there was no way to find the trap door to access this house's cellar...too many leaves, debris, etc....access wasn't through the normal trap door...The cast iron cook stove, gravity and mother nature co-operated to create access to this one.

This was a picking a building that was quite clean, and in use...but the crawlspace had not been used since the 1950s...and the access to is was moved to a part of the building that only had a 2 foot space between the floor joists and the ground...then you back crawled/shimmied under the floor, and within a couple feet dropped down into the deeper portion of the cellar. It is an all dirt floor...quite dry, but that also means quite dusty..Each movement you make on the floor, or shifting something created a cloud of dust.

Respirator time!

 REALLY dark! No lights in here!

I feel far more grungy than I look....

Sorry for the dark photo....per usual, there was no electricity in this building. What you see here is an estate that was stored in a barn for about 15+ years.  This was a hog barn...and became infested with rats, mice raccoons, and who knows what else. Roof also leaked.  I saw this stuff 15 or so years prior, but the family that owned the stuff was still hemming and hawing about what to do with it. At that time, I saw that there was about a few thousand dollars worth of stuff.  When I obtained the opportunity to sort through it, many years later, this is what the pile looked like (above & below)

After diggin' through the pile a couple hours.

Some items rescued....most of the furniture was destroyed by rot, mice, and rats....in the end, the grand total realized from this mess was under $400!   There were a few pieces of furniture here that WERE $500- $1500 pieces when I looked at them years back...and they were reduced to nothing more than glorified FIREWOOD...and not even that, with some of the parts so rotten that you could squeeze water out of them. THAT is what happens to items when they are left in uncontrolled conditions.

That is enough grunge, dirt, and dust for today....will post more photos of some of the stuff I have encountered soon!

Wholesaling

I've never had a problem with wholesaling merchandise. 

Retailing is much harder...but I have/will cover that in other blog posts.

I LOVE a quick sale! 

The item/lot is gone, you just forget it and go buy more stuff. You have cash in your pocket, and if you have bought it right, you paid for your time and hopefully done even better than that.  
 
Remember all the work that goes into retailing items. Leave the cleaning, researching, handling, shipping, packaging, storing, preserving, restoring, marketing etc, etc, etc, to the buyer....who is likely also a steady reseller.

 Photo: Gerry Frost of Crazy Horse Antiques (Calgary, Alberta) and 

the Author, with part of a bulk purchase "The Driftin' Cowboy" made. 

 If Gerry happens to look familiar, you may have seen him buying and 

selling at various western Canadian antiques shows over the years,

 and most recently he has appeared on "Canadian Pickers"

(aka "Cash Cowboys" in the US and other markets) doing appraisals,  

and seen attending some of  sales put on by the two TV pickers that we in the

 business tend to refer to as "The Boys" (aka Scott Cozens & Sheldon Smithens)

Other resellers can be far better customers than the general public and/or collectors.  Selling to other pickers, dealers, second hand shop owners, etc creates steady and ready customers...and, just as importantly, are not so heavily influenced by such lines of thought as:

"I already have one of those in my collection."

"I only want one, not all 10."

"I just need that one to complete my set, not the whole set."



"I just want the 3 best condition ones, not those 20 others."


If you have been reselling anywhere, you know very well that this list can go on and on and on and on.

I also try not to wholesale to the general public, unless they actually are resellers themselves, and are willing to buy in bulk. They could become your future steady customers.   

 I do keep my "retail" prices pretty reasonable, but bulk buyers certainly get even a far better deal from me than Joe or Jane Schmo buyers. "Bulk" means different things to different people. I regularly encounter J. Q. Public that seems to think "bulk" means that their buying 5 items, under-priced at $6 each, means I should be readily giving them a 70% discount...and absorb the taxes.

There are other used goods/surplus goods/antiques/collectibles resellers who don't subscribe to the same philosophy as I do,  but usually they have another source of income, thus do not need to turn over inventory to pay the bills.....or they are newbies, and when they stay dedicated to that mantra of "retail only, minimal discounts, no wholesaling" they tend to not be in this sort of resale business long term.


Hang in there when it comes to those sorts.... 

Ten, five, two or even just a year from now, you may end up buying all their inventory, fixtures, supplies, etc; for pennies on the dollar, at some storage locker auction!

If you are really lucky, and keep reading this blog, maybe even buying my book(s) (when they get done!), you may well end up PAID to haul away the inventory you were wanting to buy!

Happy Picking, Folks!



 

Takin' Care of Business - The Song of My Life!

Yes, I know, it has been awhile.... "long time no blog."

Been busy...well, MORE busy than in the winter, anyway.  Even as I write this, I really should be doing some paperwork I have been neglecting...and with that in mind, I will be keeping this short....

Yes, I know you have heard that from me before....and I still manage to write pages and pages...well, not today....trying to keep my word today.

Anyway, the title of today's post is connected to its contents in 2 ways.  As a "Hardcore Picker", I am working every day, every way. Even my "off time" is usually connected to "the business"..or I will connect it.

Last week, I had to attend a family member's funeral, about 2 hours from home. While driving to my parents through the town looking for the church, I spotted a sign nailed to someone's garden shed.

After the funeral, I took the same route back to the highway. I  stopped on the road where I noticed it,  so I could take a better look, and sure  enough, it turned out to be a 1930s Orange Crush sign.  Considering the emotionally draining nature of the day, I made a mental note of it, and I will go back in a week or two to see I can buy it, and follow up some other leads in that area.

My eyes never stop working. Sometimes they slow down, get tired, but if they are open, they notice things at times that I am not actively picking or scouting.

Ever see someone in a suit picking over the merchandise at a garage sale?

 En route to a wedding?

 Their OWN wedding?

 That is likely why my wife decided we should have a small private ceremony at home...She knows antiques dealers all too well.

Anyway, I promised to keep this short...and it ends here...pretty much.  However, you may want to bring up YouTube and put on Takin' Care Of Business by the iconic, Western Canadian rockers, BTO.

And (with apologies to Randy Bachman ,Fred Turner, and the other BTO members)......

NOW you can sing along, PICKER STYLE, using the lyrics below....(this is technically still a work in progress, BTW!)

----- INSERT IMAGINED DRUM ROLL HERE ------

    I present you with a tune I have titled:


Pickin' For A Livin'
 

I get up in mornin’

At the alarm clock’s warning.

Out drivin’ dirt roads rarely travelled

There’s an old farm up ahead

 I slow the van down

turn and drive up the rutted lane

And my heart skips a beat

Maybe I can pay my bill for heat

Cause I see tons o’ junk around the sheds

And then I see the ol’ boy

He says his name is Elroy

But just call him plain Roy

He used to go…

Pickin’ for a livin’, every day

Pickin’ for a livin’, every way

Oh yeah, I picked all this old stuff, it’s all fine

Pickin’ for a livin’, yeah all this stuff is mine.

Come on!

He showed me ‘round the yard and sheds,

Then showed me piles of cast iron beds

rusty shades of red, brown and yellow

Asked him "How Much?" And he replied

10 bucks a piece takes ‘em all, Clyde

Yeah, seems cheap, but he knew what he was doin’

He had made the huge piles

Over quite a long while,

Bought ‘em all at under scrap price, no foolin’

You see the ol’ boy was smart

He was a hard workin' ol’ fart

Told me: “I loved dealin’ in ol’ junk

But it is time to sell it all

I turned 90 late this fall

And now along comes you, this young punk

Who says he’s…

Pickin’ for a livin’, every day

Pickin’ for a livin’, every way

Oh yeah, I picked all this old stuff, it’s all fine

Pickin’ for a livin’, yeah all this stuff is mine.

He’s just like me

Spent his life

Pickin’ for a livin’, every day

Pickin’ for a livin’, every way

Oh yeah, I picked all this old stuff, it’s all fine

Pickin’ for a livin’, yeah all this stuff is mine.

Buying Old Junk - Business VS Hobby - Is That Item Truly A Bargain?

You are going to find that passing up on what you initially see as a bargain, and highly "profitable" inventory is a constant struggle.

Why pass up a 25 cent buy that you are pretty sure is worth $15 in a store?  Well, read on, and you will find out.

Some days resisting the urge to buy every "deal" you see will be far easier than others. If you are like myself, our addiction is the hunt and the big rush we get when we find some cool treasure, especially if it was CHEAP.

 After awhile, like any addiction, it takes something more and more spectacular to give us the same "rush" we crave.

But, when it is a significant part of our income/business, also, we need to temper that treasure hunting addiction with common sense and good business acumen. 

Yes, that ornament is only priced at 25 cents, and it is salable for $15 in a shop or online, but is it truly worth the time? And the cleaning? The supplies you use for cleaning? The time spent on cleaning? Time spent photographing it? Editing the photos?  Listing it online? Fees for listing it online? Emailing and answering questions? Invoicing a final buyer? Packing? An the packing materials? Time spent packing it? Mailing? And the gas to the post office? Time spent standing in line at the post office?  Emailing the buyer to say it is in the mail,and sending tracking info? Customer service after to make sure it arrived and they are happy with it?

A the markup on that item was a theoretical profit of $14.75.  But there is an argument to be made that it actually cost you money to deal with that item. 

So, that 25 cent purchase may well have turned into a loss when you factor into the equation all your other expenses.

I struggle with this daily. I have lots of "low end" inventory.

However, I don't buy that many low end items purposely for resale, anymore. Only the odd quarter from my pocket are spent on an item that is only worth $15.

I have lots of that sort of "shelf filler" already.  But, I still acquire that sort of merchandise for other reasons,  by other methods, an din other situations.

When I am out picking, sometimes spending $5 on a $20 item is what you need to do to get in the door.

Making a pile of quarter priced items at a second hand shop can show I am a serious bulk buyer. Might even eventually lead to the "good stuff" in the back room, and/or make a long time and good contact in that area. Perhaps end up with referrals to some of their sources, for items that are priced too high for them, but are bargain priced in your view.

Local thrift stores I go to, I do spend some of my quarters. Some places are run as money making enterprises in support of charities, and are worth supporting. I'll get my twenty five cents back, hopefully, and end up breaking even (once I factor in the $14.75 worth of expenses I have incurred by buying that item!)

For me, it is sort of the equivalent of any expenditure for items of "pleasure"...like buying a soda at the convenience store, a coffee & donut at the local Timmies (Tim Horton's) , popping it in a video game, dropping it in the coin slot of a slot machine, etc.  IN the case of "in support of such and such charity" thrift stores, it is akin to buying a overpriced giant chocolate bar from the local neighbor kids who are raising money for a new bunch of basketballs.

The difference is that I can write it off as a purchase of inventory.  I slaked a bit of  my thirst for a "score" and made the world a better place for only 25 cents!

That is how I rationalize it, anyway! 

That said, I now pass up more "bargains" than I buy. China and glass items are one of those things I pass up more and more, unless the potential resale value is significant, or it is something I am curious about, and/or  want to research it as part of my ongoing self-education in a variety of collecting areas.  I also do buy the odd thing just as a 3-D reminder of an event, place, etc. A souvenir of that stop, and a bookmark in my memory to stop by there again.

Plus, there are those items I buy solely for some of their "parts". A lamp I can cannibalize for a part or 2 to make another salable. The parts may be obsolete, but still are not intrinsically valuable. Even of they are still available new, it is cheaper and/or more convenient to buy the junk lamp than make a trip to the hardware store, or order it online. Plus, the "patina" of age is already there, and the replaced part of the repair/restoration doesn't stick out like a sore thumb.

I get plenty of the $5 to $25 items in box lots at auctions, etc. Even now that I strictly limit my garage sale purchase, thrift shop buys, etc, those $5 - $25 items still  pile up, and I still need to be careful as to how I deal with them.  My accumulated knowledge means I buy more than the newbie, as I recognize more of those 25 cent items as being worth far more than 25 cents. So, the struggle will be eternal. More you know, the more you can buy, because you see more bargains on the tables than the part-timer standing beside you at that garage sale.

I certainly still do not make tons of money when it is all said and done.  I'd be lucky to make $10 an hour.....which is less than minimum wage, here.   If it was ALL about money, I'd be able to do very, very well with a 9 to 5 job.  Heck, on the "oil patch" in this area, even a kid fresh out of high school can get a job with a starting wage of $25 an hour (+benefits)...PLUS they get a pretty new 4x4 company truck to drive.

However, I am "happy" with what I do.  One of these days my chosen profession and skill set I have created, honed, add to and constantly improve on, will all pay off big....

Or so I hope! 

And now it is time to get back at it. I have a stack of boxes to deal with, full of things with 25 cent price tags. 

Pass me that bottle of Goo-Gone, will ya?

Realities of the Junk Biz Lifestyle VS Reality TV - Part One...of many to come)

Ah, you are back! GOOD. At least you want to learn!

(Oh, warning, no pictures exist in this posting.) 


Just the facts, period.

The thing is, when you are in the "junk biz" "stuff happens," just as it does to anyone else.....and sometimes  "stuff happens" even more-so.

Times can be tough. 

An expected/unexpected bill can pop up. 

You could get so overworked/tired/stressed that you need a vacation or you will loose your mind and/or your family.

You may need to take an urgent trip via airline, and not be able to pick up a "cheap flight" and have to pay the airlines top-end rates.

You need to take some other emergency trip, maybe rescue of friend from a bad relationship, or just "be there" for someone.

You may wish to take time off just to be with a friend/relative in the last months/days/hours of their lives. 


You suddenly may have health issues of your own arise, or need to assist a  family member or friend in health related issue.

You may trip on a half-buried wire while in a scrap yard, resulting in a face-meets-chrome impact, and leave some extra patina and scuffs on that Dodge DeSoto bumper you were after...but at least you know roughly where to look for the other halves of your front teeth....seeing as you did hear 2 "pings" as they ricocheted off the grill.


Of course, I could keep going on and on and on. However, those of you who have been on that long road of life for more than, say, a quarter century, without the family safety net constantly hovering underneath their tightrope....well, you all don't need reminders of the past.  

I do want to make those who are new to the junk biz well aware of the realities of the junk biz lifestyle.  

ATTENTION ALL of you who fall under these categories,

  - Reality-TV-Is-Real-Life-True-Believers
  - newbie-but-I-AM-A-PROFESSIONAL-Storage-Locker-Buyers
  - Wannabe-Pickers
  - among other hoards of those people, falling under multiple known (and currently unknown) categories of those who are  bushy-tailed-bright-eyed-earnestly-peering-through-their-rose-colored-glasses with that 100 yard I-am-going-to-be-rich-buying-and-selling-other-people's-junk sort of dazed stare

 PLEASE CLOSELY read the next 6 points:


(1) EASY MONEY DOES NOT EXIST IN THE JUNK BIZ....nor anywhere else.


(2) YOU CAN NOT KEEP ALL/MOST/MUCH OF THE GOOD/COOL/VALUABLE/NEAT/INTERESTING/WEIRD/USEFUL/BIZARRE STUFF AND EXPECT TO MAKE A LIVING.... unless your business plan includes being a paid regular on Hoarding: Buried Alive and other similar shows..


(3) IF YOU ARE A COLLECTOR WHO AGONIZES OVER SELLING OR GETTING RID OF THINGS DO NOT GET INTO THE JUNK BUSINESS....at least until you have seen a shrink, the therapy is complete and worked, allowing you to finally no longer hate your mother for giving away your Optimus Prime Transformer to the neighbor kids after you FINALLY moved out of your  parent's home... for the first time, anyway.


(4) IF YOU TRULY BELIEVE YOU WILL IMMEDIATELY MAKE ENOUGH MONEY TO SUPPORT YOURSELF (LET ALONE YOUR FAMILY, TOO) YOU ARE DREAMING...AND PURSUIT OF THE DREAM WILL MEAN A NIGHTMARE IS SURE TO BE NEXT...it is better to "keep dreaming" rather than live a nightmare and have a stress induced heart attack....and never dream again.

(5) IF YOU ARE A MAJOR GERMAPHOBE, BE SURE TO ADD THE COSTS OF EXTENSIVE THERAPY INTO YOUR "EXPENSES" SECTION OF YOUR ACCOUNTING RECORDS....and do let me know...as I want to buy as much stock in  glove and hand sanitizer makers....that way I can retire within a year.



(6) IF YOU THINK YOU KNOW IT ALL, YOU DON'T....but, if you still insist you know it all, let me know when and where you set up to sell your wares. I love to buy things from people who are such experts. It gives me such confidence! I am constantly awestruck while in their presence....especially when I think of the huge profits I will make from the items I buy from them. I also thoroughly enjoy the stories they tell, as historical fiction is a favorite of mine.

- THE END - 

(7) DO YOU FIND THAT ANY OF THE FOLLOWING DESCRIBES YOU (OR YOUR BUSINESS PARTNER)?

- CAN NOT LOOK, NOR THINK BEYOND WHAT SOMEONE SAYS IS "THE END" (if you are reading this, congratulations!)

- DO NOT LIKE THE UNEXPECTED

- CAN NOT THINK WAY OUTSIDE THE BOX 

- CAN NOT IMPROVISE

- PANIC EASILY

- FALL APART UNDER ANY STRESS

- HAVE LITTLE/NO PATIENCE

- GET BORED EASILY

If so, you are far better off to stay on your couch, and keep watching Reality TV.....

You see, (and do realize that I do say this with utmost sincerity,) your favorite "Junk TV" shows are as close to  real as you truly ever wish to experience....I'll bet your sanity on it.